Rock n' Roll Creation
by HellfireSupremacy
Summary: History's greatest discoveries are often complete accidents. One day Miriel and Ricken are testing the properties of the thunder tome while Cordelia and Stahl practice at the harp...and then something amazing happens. Bumped to (M) because I couldn't in good conscious keep this in the (T)s with all the Sex, Drugs, and Rock n' Roll. Rated for Sex, Drugs, and Rock N' Roll.
1. Chapter 1

**SUGGESTED AUDIO PAIRING FOR THIS CHAPTER: Juke Box Hero; by (_Foreigner) _  
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Rock n' Roll Creation:

(In The Beginning…)

* * *

><p>"Can you PLEASE do that somewhere else?" a stray spark-spray missed Cordelia's head by an inch and her hair frizzed from the static. (Did Miriel have <em>any <em>idea how long it took her to look presentable for Lord Chrom?)

"The equipment has already been calibrated. Relocating at this juncture would yield anomalous results and compromise the integrity of the experiment."

"God's Miriel; what did the poor fork ever do to you?" As far as Stahl was concerned, silverware was for attacking dinner plates. And breakfast plates. And…

_**KERRR-ZAPPPP-ZAP-ZAP-ZAP-ZAP!**_

Ricken blasted Chrom's fine cutlery with thunder, and Miriel scribbled something in her journal.

"The fork conducts the energy produced by the spell. The candelabra does not. Fascinating…"

"It's because the fork is made of silver and the candelabra is made of granite, right?" Ricken guessed.

"The ability to conduct the energy appears to be a metallurgical property. But why?" Miriel wondered. "What is the property of metal that makes it so? Does it vary among metals? Are there non-metals capable of displaying the same property?"

"We are TRYING to make music here!" teaching Stahl his part for their upcoming duet was hard enough when shocks weren't flying every which way. One spark-spray to the face was an accident; two was—as Sully might say—a damned nuisance.

"Perhaps you should relocate?" Miriel suggested.

"You're in the _**concert hall**_." Cordelia glared. "Does Chrom know you're destroying his dining set?"

"…Unimportant…" Miriel attached her equipment to a ceramic vase and Ricken blasted it to bits.

"Stop doing that," Cordelia warned.

"This is for science."

"Can't we all just get along?" Stahl tried to play the peacemaker. Nervously, he plucked at his strings.

"Your partner's lack of appreciation for empirical study is bothersome," Miriel readied a glass punchbowl, and Cordelia gave her a stern _Do not do what you are thinking about doing._

_**KERRR-ZAPPPP-ZAP-ZAP-ZAP-ZAP!**_

Ricken overcharged the spell and sent forth another spray of wild bolts. One such bolt struck Stahl's instrument; still in use….

"What was that magical sound?" Cordelia was instantly pacified.

"Running energy through the strings appears to alter their auditory properties." This result was unexpected, but not unwelcome. "A resonant vibration phenomenon," Miriel hypothesized. "Or perhaps…"

"Do it again!" Cordelia and Stahl demanded, as one.

Ricken struck the harp and Stahl strummed out a new sound. Cordelia swooned, Miriel gasped, and Ricken's jaw dropped.

Stahl has just played Ylisse's first _**Power Chord**_.

"…Do hers now…" Stahl was a rank amateur compared to Cordelia, and he knew it. If _he _could coax out that kind of sound, she could…

…Ricken struck Cordelia's harp, and if Stahl could _play_ Cordelia could _shred_. Verily; the solo she ripped was worthy of Zack Wylde.

"…by the gods…" Ricken dropped to his knees and bowed.

"…I-Its beautiful…" Stahl wept for joy.

"…A query…" Miriel's intuition perked. "What do you suppose would happen if we were to explore the form and function of this sound while imbibing the mushrooms that grow behind the castle?"

"The ones that Chrom told us to never, ever, ever eat?" Stahl had tried once, and the prince could not have been more explicit in his warnings to do no such thing.

"Correct."

"Why would we do that?" Ricken was confused.

"I hypothesize that if we combine the effects of the mushroom with the production of the sound, both will be augmented by a synergistic effect," Miriel explained.

"I have newfound respect for your hypotheses. Let it be so!" Cordelia approved.

And so they partook of the mushroom and tripped major balls and jammed a great jam.

It occurred to Ricken that percussionary pounding was a natural pair to Stahl's use of the _Thunder Harp _(which Miriel would later redesign and rename **_GUITAR_**), and so was born the marriage of _**drum and bass**_.

Miriel discovered that she could create reverbs and delay loops by mixing the jam through a swirl of _Wilderwind, _and thus was born the sound of _**psychedelic rock**_.

Cordelia discovered that she need not spend another day pining for Prince Charming; she was a _**Rockstar.**_ Let the princes pine for her, and she would deny them.

"People need to know about this," Stahl decided. "This will change the world."

"The sound is incomplete." Miriel cautioned. "Something is missing."

"What's missing?" Cordelia could think of nothing.

"…I don't know…" Miriel admitted.

"…I think I've got it…" trippy Ricken had another flash of psychedelic brilliance.

And then they were off to The Lady's quarters.

* * *

><p>"Maribelle. Piano. NOW!"<p>

Maribelle squealed a most unladylike squeal as Ricken and Miriel and Stahl and Cordelia burst into her room without so much as a knock on the door.

"How DARE you enter without announcing yourselves!? I could have been…"

"Just play something on the piano!" Ricken ignored her outrage. Stahl and Cordelia opened the top of her Grand Classic, and Miriel prepped a thunder tome.

"Are you on DRUGS!?" Maribelle shouted.

"…unimportant…" Ricken answered. "Just play something. Anything."

Maribelle did not understand. But she played.

_**KERRR-ZAPPPP-ZAP-ZAP-ZAP-ZAP! **_Miriel struck the piano with thunder.

"…Play it again…" Ricken instructed.

If Maribelle wasn't such a proper lady she would have squealed anew; the sound was like an orgasm to the ears. Maribelle has just discovered _**Electric Keyboard**__. _

"…Together now…" Ricken pounded out a beat and Stahl strummed a bass line. Maribelle joined in with keyboard improv and Cordelia carried it home.

"…Perfection…" Miriel applauded, and all agreed. It was time to take their sound to the people.

"This is soooo good," Maribelle was awestruck.

"This is better than good." Ricken had spent too much time around Miriel to describe so monumental an achievement with so simple a word. But a suitable turn-of-phrase escaped him. "Miriel; what's the word for how good this is?"

"...There is no word…" Miriel realized. "We must create a new one. Or we must give new meaning to an old one. This is…" for once in her life, Miriel was at a loss for descriptive language.

"…This is…" Ricken was stumped.

"…This is…" Maribelle had nothing.

"This **ROCKS**!" later Cordelia could not recall why of all words, that was the one that came to mind. But it just felt right.

"We **ROCK**!" Stahl approved.

"Let there by **RAwWwWwK**!" Miriel played with the phonetics of the word in a most rockin' manner, and made a mental note to invent the microphone.

* * *

><p><em>So begins the legend of <em>**Thunder Harp**. _The band that saved the halidom and vanquished the fel dragon;_ _not by might and not by force of arms. But with the power of sex, drugs, and rock n' roll. _ **  
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	2. Chapter 2

**SUGGESTED AUDIO PAIRING FOR THIS CHAPTER: Kickapoo, by (_Tenacious D_)**

Rock n' Roll Creation:

(And He Saw That It Was Good…)

* * *

><p>They came to Ylisse to make war. But war could find no footing where the spirit of Rock n' Roll prevailed.<p>

"**HELLLLO PLEGIAAA! ARE YOU READY TO RAWwWwWwWK!?" **the legends in the making met them at the border; Miriel on microphone(Miriel has invented the microphone) at the forefront.

"Imma shoot your peg knights and kill your exalt. Fight me, maggots." Gangrel made his approach.

"**We could do that. Or we could have a ROCK N' ROLL PARTyYyYyY! k-k-k-YEAH-YAH!" **(Rickety Razz-a-ma-Tazz Ricken punctuated the offer with a drum solo)

"A rock n' what now?" Gangrel blinked.

"**WE ARE THUNDER HARP AND WE'RE HERE TO ROCK YOUR FUCKING SOCKS OFF…1…2…3…HIT IT!"**

Thunder Harp rocked from way up high with a righteous rock. Brigands threw down their axes. Knights removed their armor. The pegasus laid with the wyvern; the Sheppard with the Grimleal. Aversa and Robin made Morgan—publicly and with great fanfare.

The Border Pass became as a mosh pit, and all reveled in an orgy of riffs and treble.

Gangrel decided that he didn't really need to kill the exalt.

Validar decided that waking the fel dragon was a most ungroovy thing to do.

Emmeryn hippy-jammed to _"War! What is it good for…absolutely __**NOTHING**__!" _

Chrom came to the long overdue realization that Cordelia is a sexy bitch. (and Cordelia came to the long overdue realization that Chrom is kind of a tool).

Peace and love reigned among warring neighbors, and all was right with the world. But then…

* * *

><p>"Thunder Harp is banned," Emmeryn informed them.<p>

"WHAT!?" Stahl damn-near chucked his dinner plate.

"THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!" Maribelle demanded justice.

"The band or the instrument?" Miriel inquired.

"Both…Father Libra…" the exalt ceded the floor.

"The Holy Conclave hath declared that this debauchery you call _Rock n' Roll_ is the Devil's music. Since you brought this blight upon the halidom the moral character of the people has suffered; the youth disrespect their elders and indulge in intoxicants. Young sirs refuse to toil unto renown and question why it is we have coins and lords. And the maidenfolk have become loose and promiscuous; no self-respect for their bodies or their virtue!"

"_**Their **_virtue or _**Yours**_?" Cordelia scoffed.

"Chrom plays loose with Sumia, Sully, and Olivia and the church never tells him how to run his shit; what's up with that!?" Stahl challenged.

"Where does a room full of wrinkled old greybeards get off telling women what is and is not self-respect? Its called **SELF**-Respect! " Since coming down from her high-horse, Maribelle had become more annoyed then most by the stuffy prudes still pretending like their etiquettes and their repressions made them better people. "If Lissa wants to mount Ricken one night and Stahl the next what does she have to be ashamed of—FUCK YOU—men do it all the time!"

"NEW RULE: walking around shirtless means that a man has no respect for his body." Cordelia mocked. "That's a thing now."

"No respect!" Maribelle parroted. "Isn't that a disgusting fact?"

"Vaike is just the worst kind of person…a real masochist, that one…" Cordelia kept it going.

"Dude. Why _**DO **_we have coins and lords?" trippy Ricken wondered.

"…"

"..."

"..."

"You're all on drugs right now, aren't you?" Libra sighed.

"With all due respect to your papacy," Miriel said in a tone that suggested anything but respect for his papacy, "Rock n' Roll is new. And teenagers have been lazy, horny, and rebellious since…well…forever. The mechanism of causation you propose is absurd."

"...Father Superior…" Libra ceded the floor to the oldest, frumpiest, meanest clergyman you've had the pleasure of never meeting.

"SINNERS! BLASPHEMERS! FORNICATORS! WHORES! To the fires with ye and yer infernal sound; Naga burn ye all!"

"Our sound saved the life of every knight-sister in Phila's Watch and turned back Plegia at the border, you twat." Corderlia strummed her guitar.

"Saved them…aye…from demon-worshippers and sand savages! Of course those godless heathens were seduced by yer devil music!" the old priest spat. "But the HALIDOM!? My granddaughter was a good lass; studied her scriptures and kept her legs crossed, she did! Now she speaks against the gods and comes home with strange men, and spends her days at the harp singing _**I Wanna Be Just Like Cordy-D**__._"

"As well she should. I'm insanely talented." The best thing about being a rockstar, Cordelia found, was that she finally had to stop apologizing for that.

"We're going to keep rocking," Stahl told the old priest in no uncertain terms. "You can't stop us."

"…Exalt…" the old priest ceded the floor back to Emm.

"By order of the Holy Conclave, if you do not cease and desist at once you will be exiled from the Halidom."

"EXILE!?" the band collectively shouted.

"Please yield," Emmeryn pleaded. "Don't make this any worse than it already is…" There were precious few things that an Exalt wasn't allowed to do. Telling the church to eat a dick was one of them.

"Ye have a fortnight to surrender yer instruments. What say you?" the old priest demanded.

"Fuck You, Fuck You, and FUCK YOU HARDER," Cordelia flipped off the old priest, Libra, and then the old priest again. "…Emm…you're still cool…"

"Exile it is then?" The old priest chortled.

"Oh no-no-no, we're not going into EXILE," Cordelia smirked. "We're going on TOUR!"

"**THUNDER HARP; WORLD TOUR!" **Maribelle whooped.

"**ROCK N' ROLL!" **Stahl dropped the bass.

"**WE'RE ROCKIN' REGNA FEROX! WE'RE ROCKING VALM! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE OSTIA IS, BUT WE'RE ROCKING IT!" **Miriel was mentally drafting an itinerary.

"**IMMA DROP SOME SICK JUNGLE BEATS IN GALLIA! STITCHES, BITCHES!" **Before the tour was done, Ricken was going to get freaky with a cat-girl.

"Exile means once you leave you can never come back. You know that, right?" Emmeryn reminded them that this was supposed to be a punishment.

"Then we will wander and spread our sound until we find a place and a people to embrace it," Cordelia resolved. "And one day, when the Halidom faces a threat that only the Spirit of Rock n' Roll can conquer, you will remember the name of _**Thunder Harp**_. And you will know where to find us."

So with Rock n' Roll in their hearts (and a cheesy attempt by Chrom to score going-away-sex with Cordelia in their laughter), the band set to wandering.

…and oh how they wandered…


	3. Chapter 3

**SUGGESTED AUDIO PAIRING FOR THIS CHAPTER: Holy Diver, by (_Dio_)  
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Rock n' Roll Creation

(Strangers in a Strange Land…)

* * *

><p>"King Cannabis; you are one cool cat," Stahl puffed the Gallian good stuff.<p>

"Cannabis is the herb," Ranulf reminded him. Again. "The king is…"

"HEY CORDELIA; GET OVER HERE AND SMOKE SOME CAINEGHIS WITH THE LION KING!"

"_Mphhhhh!…Busy…_" by busy, Cordelia of course meant _furiously making out with Skrimir._

"OMG; ITS SIMBA!" Ricken and Maribelle glomped the King of Beasts.

"I WANNA MEET TIMONE AND PUMBA!" Ricken tugged at his mane.

"I WANNA SEE PRIDE ROCK!" Maribelle squeed.

"…I don't know what that is…" Caineghis puzzled over the strange requests.

"WHERES THE LITTLE GUY THAT GOES SNARF-SNARF-SNARF?"

"OH OH…CAN I HOLD THE EYE OF THUNDERA!?"

…you crazy kids and your drugs…" Ranulf shook his head. "OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE SKRIMIR; GET A ROOM!"

"So give it to me straight Cannabis…the concert…" Stahl passed the peace pipe. "…did we suck, or did we ROCK!?"

"You have brought a great gift to my people; _**Thunder Harp**_ will always have a friend in Gallia," Caineghis puffed and pledged. "You are unable to return to your kingdom?"

"Old Man Godspeaker exiled us. He's a DICK!" Stahl still couldn't believe Emm had sold them out to the church.

"You are welcome to stay," Caineghis offered.

"We would be honored to rock with you cat-dudes. But _**Thunder Harp **_has a mission; the whole world must hear our sound!"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…not that sound…" Stahl clarified, as sounds of an entirely different kind came from the room to which Skrimir and Cordelia had retired. (someone was having a good night)

"Your pursuit is noble and your quest great; I will not detain you. May you bring joy to beorc and laguz alike, young ones, and away put their strife. Show us all a better way. But before you go, I must teach you the sacred song of the Beast Tribe…" Caineghis gave the wandering rockers his blessing. And then he roared: '_**Welcome to the Jungle!'" **_

"_Welcome to the jungle!" _Stahl repeated.

"**We got fun and games!" **

"_We got fun and games!"_

"**We got everything you want; honey we know the names!"**

Caineghis taught the sacred words, and Stahl swore on his guitar that he would make of them a rock n' roll anthem for the ages.

"…you don't know how to write songs…" Maribelle reminded him. "Cordelia and Miriel write the songs."

"Where is Miriel?" Ricken hadn't seen her since the concert.

_**RAWWWWWRRR!**_

Mordecai flew into the after-party in beast form, floating on a cloud of wind magic with Miriel saddled atop his back.

"…that was edifying…" Miriel dismounted. (You can tattoo and pierce and stud and rock out in skin-tight leather. And you may be metal. But you will never be as metal as Miriel riding a tiger over the rainbow). "Inform Cordelia; we are putting the lyrics **_ride the tiger_** in our next song. Also something about being**_ gone too long in the midnight sea_**."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Where is Cordelia?" Miriel queried.

"Riding the lion," Stahl answered. _Loudly_, he might have added, but Miriel could hear that much for herself. "About our next song...there's this thing, and it's really…well…its like…uhhhhh…" _Shit. _Stahl couldn't remember the words. "Hey…King Cannabis…do that thing you just did…"

"First you do _that thing _that you did," Caineghis spoke to Miriel.

"What thing?"

"_THAT_ thing."

"Surely, I don't know what you're talking about."

"…that thing that pleases me…"

"Oh…That thing…" Miriel whipped out her microphone. And she sang: "_**In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight. In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight. Oh-eeeeee-eeee-eeee-oh-mum-oh-wehhhh!"**_

The King of Beasts purred like a kitten, and in his pleasure shared with the creative genius behind _**Thunder Harp **_the secret of the Jungle Beat.

"…sooooooo…" Ricken discreetly asked Mordecai. "How many Whiskey Sours until Lethe spreads her legs for the drummer?"

"She would never," Mordecai answered. "But her sister…"

* * *

><p>"Last night was a good night," Ricken beamed. (cat-girls do it from behind)<p>

"Last night was a_ very _good night," Cordelia hadn't done a damn thing with her hair and looked a hot mess…and zero fucks were given on this day.

"Heard that. I'm amazed you can walk," Stahl japed.

"Why weren't_ YOU_ in the sex room?" Cordelia fired back. If _Ricken _could get a girl, surely Stahl could have gotten three.

"I got to cross _**Smoke weed with The Lion King**_ off the list of cool shit I have to do before I die. Successful night was successful." Stahl regretted nothing.

"Did I throw up on myself in public?" Maribelle tried to remember.

"No. You made it to the sink." Miriel recalled.

"Right then. A good night," Maribelle agreed.

"**HALT!**" A dark skinned, red haired, battle-scarred giant of a man blocked their path. _**Thunder Harp**_ had unwittingly wandered into… "**None may trespass in Goldoa. Turn back or die."**

"Hi! We're rockstars!" Stahl greeted Gareth cheerfully. "…We'll just be passing through…"

"**NONE SHALL PASS!" **Gareth shouted.

"Maybe you didn't hear me," Stahl spoke louder. "I said we're ROCKSTARS."

"Guitar Heroes…Golden Gods…Sex Symbols…we're kind of a big deal…" Ricken bragged.

"Don't you know who I am? Unbelievable…this guy doesn't know who I am…" Cordelia huffed.

"Will you not move aside, good sir?" Stahl implored.

"**Goldoa will not move!"** Gareth was every bit as stubborn as his king. He transformed and hunkered down and blocked the road to Goldoa with his body.

"Then we shall change your mind!" in the face of a pissed off Gareth, Miriel flinched not and again wielded the awesome power of her microphone. **"WE ARE THUNDER HARP, AND WE'RE GONNA ROCK A DRAGON! 1…2…3…HIT IT!**

The band rocked, and Goldoa moved. Dheginsea proclaimed the Rock n' Roll Creation to be mankind's greatest achievement of the past 2,000 years, and implored the wanderers to stay among his kin as guests of honor.

"We cannot, great king, for all the world must hear our sound!"

"…So it must…" Dheginsea agreed. "But before you leave take with you the secret technique of the Dragon Tribe. **BEHOLD: DRAGONFORCE!**"

Dheginsea bestowed upon the rockers a boon of draconic kickassery. Ricken drummed and Maribelle keyed and Cordelia and Stahl strummed with super-speed. And Miriel's lyrics told tales of gods sending champions into battle with swords shining bright in the sky.

"…This is…" again, Cordelia had no words.

"…This is _**Power Metal**_..._" _Miriel gave a name to the boon.

The band said its farewells and its thank yous.

And then, with an ever-growing repertoire of world-changing sounds, _Thunder Harp_ resumed its wandering.


	4. Chapter 4

**SUGGESTED AUDIO PAIRING FOR THIS CHAPTER: Awaken****, by (_Dethklok_)**

Rock n' Roll Creation:

(And They Sinned a Great Sin...)

* * *

><p>"<strong>THANK YOU RAUSTEN!"<strong> Cordelia smashed her guitar live onstage, bringing the show to a close amidst an explosion of screaming fans.

"We ROCKED out there!" Maribelle was ready for the after-party. (word on the street was that no less than 3 princesses were on the VIP list).

"Now we're going to have to do something REALLY extreme for the show in Renais right Miriel?" Stahl was also ready for the after-party (word on the street was that a certain princess had the hots for the bass player).

"…"

"Miriel?"

"…I thought we agreed you weren't going to smash the guitar tonight…" Miriel glared at Cordelia.

"You said it; I never said I wouldn't." Cordelia was having none of that.

"You know that's an extra chore for me."

"Oh no; you have to cast another duplication charm…so much work…" Cordelia knew full well Miriel could turn one guitar into two guitars in twenty seconds flat. "I thought we agreed we weren't going to do psychedelic rock and power metal in the same show."

"It's a PROGRESSION! It shows where we've been and how we've grown as a band!"

"IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE! THE SOUNDS DON'T GO TOGETHER!"

"YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT GOES TOGETHER; I MADE THE MUSIC! I MADE THE BAND!"

"I AM THE BAND! I AM A **GENUIS**! ALL YOU DO IS SHOUT INTO A MICROPHONE AND JUMP AROUND; A MONKEY COULD DO YOUR JOB!"

"THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO CALL YOU **GENUIS **ARE THE ONES WHO NEVER MET ME!"

"FUCK YOU!"

"FUCK YOU!"

"BITCH; I WILL BURY YOU!" Cordelia and Miriel came to blows, and Stahl had to pry them apart.

"Ladies; LADIES!" Stahl shouted. "That does **NOT** Rock!"

"SHE STARTED IT!" Cordelia scrapped.

"Smoke this Caineghis and chill-the-fuck-out…" Stahl was now aware that wasn't what the herb was called. But it was customary, as he understood it, to give exotic names to particularly fine strains of the powerful stuff. The name had stuck.

"…she did start it…" Cordelia puff-puff-passed, and at least stopped shouting.

"This alpha female drama needs to stop," Maribelle also puff-puff-passed. The thing about geniuses was that geniuses had egos. And egos clashed. "You're BOTH geniuses. That's what makes the band work."

"I will not have my abilities questioned by this insufferable prima donna!" Miriel had never been so insulted in all her life. "SHE can sing the songs herself if she thinks anyone can do it!"

"Come on Miriel…don't be like that…" Ricken tried to calm her down.

"Think of the example we're setting for every rocker to follow," Stahl appealed to her sense of history. "Imagine a world where the band that gave the people **"Welcome to the Jungle!" **broke up in its prime, because their singer and lead-guitar couldn't stop fighting."

"T'would would be a dark and terrible world," Maribelle mock-fainted at the horror.

"That WOULD be a dark and terrible world," Miriel agreed.

"Look…I…I said some things. I was way out of line. And I did a TON of coke," Cordelia apologized and opened up for a hug. "_**Band-Mates**_?"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"_**Band-Mates**_." Miriel accepted the gesture, and they hugged it out.

"Cordelia…you're bleeding!" Stahl noticed for the first time that she had cuts all over her hand and blood running down her knuckles. "What happened; is that from the fight!?"

"Oh…that? No. I punched through a window earlier."

"THERE'S GLASS IN THERE!" Maribelle took a closer look at the cuts. "YOU PLAYED LIKE THAT THROUGH THE ENTIRE CONCERT!?"

"Didn't even notice until you just mentioned it," Cordelia pulled glass out of her hand.

"…How…" Ricken blinked.

"Did I mention I just did a TON of coke?"

* * *

><p>"…So this is an after-party…" Maribelle didn't quite remember the last one."What do we do?"<p>

"Whatever we want to do," Stahl answered. "You see that royal babe over there? I'm going to have sex with her."

"The Frelian princess or the Renaisian one?"

"Both," Stahl decided. He took a shot of liquid courage and made his approach. "_**Hellooooooo **_Ladies!"

"No fair; I want one!" Ricken followed. (for naught; Stahl was making moves and he was in no mood to share)

"What about that one?" Cordelia pointed out Amelia when Ricken returned deflated.

"Eww. She looks twelve."

"So do you. Get on that." Cordelia spurred him on with a slap on the back. "Hey Miriel; what do you say we share a man to bury the hatchet?"

"…I doubt we have the same tastes…" Miriel offered as her sole objection, and Cordelia noted that that wasn't a _**No**_.

"Prince Ephraim?" Cordelia picked her prime cut.

"He's practically Chrom," Miriel refused.

"Ross?" Cordelia remembered that Miriel liked them young.

"I don't do meatheads."

"Who then?"

"…Artur…"

"Yeahhhhhh; we really **DON'T **have the same tastes."

"...Ewan..."

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"…or Prince Lyon…"

"…Acceptable…" Cordelia offered to reel him in if Miriel didn't feel comfortable making the catch. Miriel laughed, removed her top, and straddled him.

"**Despicable**!" the other princess in the room was judging them (much to Maribelle's amusement). "These deviants have** NO** class. A woman of finer breeding would be **ASHAMED**!" L'Arachel had never seen such shocking, shameless hedonism.

"Oh My God; you're what I use to be!" Maribelle laughed and sparked some Caineghis. "Dirty little secret about class and breeding...It's all bullshit..."

"How can you say that!" L'Arachel rebuked. "You of all people should know better. A proper lady must—_mphhhhh!_"

Maribelle open-mouth kissed L'Arachel and blew a full cloud of smoke into her without so much as breaking lip-lock. The mellow of the herb billowed into the prissy princess, and all at once a change came over her.

"…oh wow…" L'Arachel exhaled smoothly and stirred with a heightened sensation of touch. "_THAT'S_ what I've been missing?"

Maribelle kissed her again, this time for reasons that had absolutely nothing to do with getting drugs in her and in ways that did not end in just a kiss on the lips (not those lips anyway).

Later in the sex room, ideas were shared that answered the question _**How do we put on a better show in Renais?**_

"It would be _**SO**_ hot if you took one of our folk songs and made it rock," the idea came to Lyon between rack of Miriel and a rough tug-job from Cordy-D.

"We don't know any of your folk songs," Miriel pushed Cordelia aside and claimed her prize.

"…I know one you can use…" Lyon gave them the worst idea ever.

* * *

><p>"<strong>THANK YOU RENAIS! We've got one more song to play for you tonight!" <strong>Miriel elated the screaming throng begging for an encore. **"This is a new song for a new sound. We call it DEATH METAL! We took the lyrics from your Forbidden Book of Necromantic Spells!"**

"_OOOOOHHHHHHHHHH_!"The crowd cried out in sudden alarm.

"_**Mustakrakesh. Mustakrakesh. AWAKEN: FOMORTiiiiS!**_

_**Thunder Harp**_ went hardcore and shredded like nobody's business. But the crowds ran from them in terror instead of fangasming over their sound. Then Stahl turned and saw the reason why; a big fucking demon demolishing the walls of Castle Renais and impaling villagers from its spires and bidding the dead to rise.

"…Oh shit…did we do that…"

* * *

><p><em>That. Just. Happened.<em>

_Death to all but Metal. _


End file.
